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I believe you have my Silmaril?
"Why, o people, why should I longer serve Bill? No longer do I care if indeed they banish me. Have I not told Bill that if my desk be moved but one more time, I shall renounce my fellowship and no longer dwell in the same office? And Dom also I have told such rede, for have they not hitherto moved my desk four times?
They would have me taken up the Boston stapler, but in my wisdom I kept the Swingline in secret. It may be that I can unlock my stapler, but never again shall I have its like; and if I must break it, I shall break my heart, and I will say, let the building burn!
I once was in the light, that the bosses begrudged to me, but now dark levels all in the realm of storage room B. Shall I mourn here forever, or return to my home, by the window, where I could behold the squirrels, and they were merry? And have I not lost my paycheck? And what else have I not lost, cooped here in a narrow cubicle between the garbage, which I do not appreciate?
Say farewell to your treasures! Longer still shall I be able to listen to the radio at a reasonable volume. When I have conquered and regained the Swingline, then I alone shall be lord of the margarita, unsullied by grains of salt!"
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