I feel so left out...

Must be nobody knows me well enough to write an anti-me.
Keeper of Dol Goldur: Melkor? Thu? The Witch King? Bah, phooey. The books would have been FAR better if no bad guys were involved. Tolkien could have written about... oh... a hobbit dancing competition or something. Yeah... that would have been great.
Lady Snickerdoodle: Legolas? Who's he? Oh wait... didn't that guy... um... Orblin or something play him? Yeah.... no wait... it was Orlibon! Right?
Mithadan: Oh by the way, my name means Bunny Rabbit in Klingon.
Pathetic, I know, but I tried.
Fea