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Isn't it also about being true to your nature, living out the life you were created to live? This brings in Shippey's definition of wraiths as things which are 'twisted'. If you live out your nature you will find peace & meaning in your life, if you don't you will suffer, be 'twisted out of shape'.
So its not about choosing to do nothing & leave it all to Eru - any choice you make, any action you perform (whether in an actual war or not) will lead towards manifesting either Arda Marred or Arda Unmarred - (actually, towards manifesting yourself marred or yourself unmarred).
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