I'm thinking Gríma was more of a stalker. From what I know of stalkers' mind sets (and I could be absolutely wrong on this), Gríma would have but Éowyn on hugely tall pedastal, seeing her as high and perfect because of this, his raping her would defile that perfection.
Could be, following that logic, that Gríma would try to kill Éowyn, or maybe Faramir, if he had lived to know that they had married. The kind of "If I can't have her, no one will" thing.
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