[Nilpaurion Felagund]

"Shall we shoot?" said Faramir, turning quickly to Frodo.
"Uh, yeah. Sure. Whatever," said Frodo, the evening's wine affecting his mind.
Faramir shrugged, then reached into his pocket. He came up with a radio. "Anborn. Weapons free. Say again, weapons are free. Prosecute to kill."
"Roger." An arrow whistled towards the unsuspecting Gollum, yet it misses him, hitting a fish instead.
"Oh, look, precious. Fisssh on ssstick," said Gollum.
Faramir spoke into the radio. "Reload and fire. Now, now, NOW!"
A rain of steel descended upon Gollum, yet none found its mark. Hundreds of fish float to the surface, their bodies punctured by the arrows.
"More fisssh on stick, preciousss," said Gollum gleefully.
An awkward silence followed. Finally, Frodo spoke up. "I know later you'll say something that goes like this: 'Only to come here and look on the pool bears the penalty of death.' I just did not know it would be death from over-eating."
"Or laughter," Sam piped in.
Faramir was enraged at the blasphemous - but true - comment, and he pushed the hobbits over the brink of the cliff. Yet the knives of stone broke at the landing of the two hobbits, and Faramir said:
"Even the rocks don't work? Darn! I really need a new hideout!"

This came from my head.