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intellectual is still a bit of an insult in England ........ and there is such a risk of seeming affected of pretentious ....... I spend my life trying to wear my learning lightly...... so in a strange way it is a huge relief to come somewhere where most people are so evidently so much more learned and intelligent than me.....
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Don't I know what you mean by that... In an attempt to not come off as pretentious or a know-it-all in the RW, I cater my vocabulary as well as my conversation to those around me. I suppose that's one of my many masks. Forgive me if this sound like I'm bragging, because I don't mean to, but it occurs to me that my brains and interests may make some people nervous. So I "hide" those interests and my general thoughts behind a "So what's for lunch today?" or a "Check out those shoes!" mask. And when I dare to come out from behind that mask? I usually regret it.
For example: for a class I was taking, we were forced to take part in mock interviews (which amused me, because my current job required no interview). The "scenario" was that I was interviewing for a job in an art museum, where I would not only help give tours, but I would give art classes. When asked about chalk pastels, I answered with a wink that I would try my darndest not to use them, because they are so gosh-darned messy and hard to be precise with, but if I did need to, I would show my students how to work from left to right (if they are righties) and to use a piece of paper on top so-as not to smear the chalk all over the rest of the work. Coupled with my knowledge of Da Vinci and my use of words like "posthumously" in general conversation... my teacher recieved a report back saying that other than sounding slightly pretentious, that I'd be great for the job (if, of course, it had been real, and I was older.). I wasn't meaning to sound pretentious, I was just talking to the guy like an intellectual equal.
It occurs to me also, that regardless of what I choose to show people of my personality or intellect, they will still see what they want to see. This past weekend, I was in the midst of a literary discussion (sadly NOT LotR, but rather The Da Vinci Code) with my godmother and my godbrother. It was especially interesting because my godmother had read it from a religious standpoint, I, from a scientific, artistic, and a holy-crap-I-didn't-know-this standpoint, and my godbrother hadn't yet read it, but was familiar with concepts therein. My point is, regardless of the validity of my points and the accuracy of my comments and references, my godmother tended to brush me off, still seeing me as her little god-daughter, as opposed to a bright young woman interested in and familiar with most of the components of the book!
Because of how she has known me (or not known me, I've yet to figure out which) my entire life, my godmother is slow to change perceptions of me. She likes to play the motherly teacher, when what I'd prefer is to pick her brain for unbiased information (hard to do, let me tell you, although she is brilliant). I suppose my point, although slow-coming, is that we are not the only ones who apply masks to ourselves. Other people, for whatever reasons, see us how they want to. Its as if they past a mask of their own creation over our faces, and forget that there is more behind it.
And now, after this essay I've unwittingly written, it is time to get some work done.
Cheers,
Fea