Note that I had started writing this post before Tar Elenion's reply above; apologies if I repeated anything he said.
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Point one: All with mortal blood in greater or lesser part share the Gift of Men, though they may also live very long lives.
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Yes, except those given the special choice by Manwe. But all with mortal blood must at least have the option of dying.
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Point two: An exception was made for Earendil and Elwing, they were allowed to choose which kind they would be counted among - in other words to choose between the Gift of Men and the life bound to Arda of the Elves.
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Yes.
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Point three: the same favor was granted to their sons. Elros chose to abid with Men, Elrond to share the fate of the Elves.
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Yes.
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*However* they, like their father were allowed to choose - and the choice seems to have been had to be made when Elrond departed from Middle Earth - in Arwen's case at least, and frankly I see no reason to assume it was not true of the twins as well.
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There is every reason to think that this was not true of the twins, since so much is quite clearly attested in Tolkien's letters. It is quite clear that Elladan and Elrohir remained for a time and delayed their choice - so obviously they were able to.
Nor do I think there is particularly much evidence that Arwen's choice was linked to Elrond's departure. You quoted earlier a passage in which Arwen says that her choice was 'long over'. But surely this means only that she, in the event, made her choice long ago and is firmly resolved in it - not that there was some deadline to be observed.
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So who told them their doom?
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That is a good question. Perhaps the rules, as it were, of the inheritance of the choice were made clear by Manwe (and through Eonwe) at the first.
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Thus the question of children and their destiny would naturally have arisen at that time. I repeat, Arwen and the twins are *every bit as Mortal by birth as the children of Elros for all their Elven mother. I see absolutely no logical reason why they should have been favored over Elros' brood.
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The reason is made quite clear: because Elros chose to be mortal. The only reason that the children of Elrond were not automatically immortal was because they had some mortal blood and therefore had to be offered the option of mortality. But immortality is not a 'gift' in the way mortality is, and those who would normally be human but had some Elvish blood thus had no special right to immortality.
[ March 30, 2003: Message edited by: Aiwendil ]