[Kransha]

Non-plussed, Herr Saucepan? I prefer "adoring" or perhaps, "idolizing," honestly.

I, a humble member of the fouler sex, lament my ineptitude relating to the fairer. I have dear, dear relationships to many of the species, and yet I remain in the dark. Even now, that I am in the final stretch of hammering down a permanent relationship, I am still, as said, utterly inept. The gender is e'er mysterious, and I fear my own male, boorish, imasculate entourage may never fully understand their intricacies. But, that's all beside the point. I ramble. Mea culpa, as they say.

If there had been women in the Fellowship, I believe many things would be different. But, I must discuss another plausibility (not possibility, plausibility).

Is it not obvious, comrades? There was a woman in the Fellowship.

Gimli, Son of Glóin.

In the cinematic version of The Two Towers, he clearly states that Dwarven women are (read: may or may not) be bearded. Gimli is bearded, and talked of as a 'Son of Gloin' but where is the proof that the manly Dwarf is, in fact, a man? Let's be honest and totally Frank [Sinatra]. There is no proof. The title 'Son of Glóin' has been misinterpreted over the years. A series of lingual flukes, thought of as coincidence, have been disregarded, diverting the true meaning of the title often added to Gimli's name. Gimli is a name taken for granted, and it's meaning oft forgotten, but there are 3 distinct clues as to why Gimli was called the "Son of Glóin."

-Gimli's name meaning is finally revealed in Tolkien Letter 297, dated 1967. Tolkien states that Gimli is a Mannish name, derived from a Nordic tongue. It means 'Fire.'
-In Norse myths, the name Gimli is applied to a Hall in the land of Asgard where great warriors were laid after death. The clue here is that the Hall of Gimli is noted, in the Eddas (I believe) as being 'golden-roofed.'
-In the old lingo of Adûnaic, Gimli can be traced to Gimilkhâd. In the name Gimilkhâd, Gimil means "Star." Thus Gimli can be translated as 'Star.'

So, three clues: Fire, Golden, and Star. Isn't there something all of these words relate to? Some object that bears all three terms? Why, yes, there is. What is golden, fiery, and a Star? Isn't it obvious? THE SUN. So, the title "Son of Gloin," really referred to Gimli's name, not his sex. He was the "Sun of Gloin." But, if you can believe it, there's MORE. Who was the Middle-Earth Spirit of the Sun? It was the Sun-Maiden, a Maia of Vána, Arien: A woman. Strange, is it not, that ol' Gloin would give his "son" a feminine name? Well, it isn't strange, if that "son" was really a daughter.

Gimli, Sun of Gloin was a woman, the only woman in the Fellowship. This explains her masculine overcompensation, trying to just be 'one of the guys.' This also explains why she went on to become the Lady of Aglarond. Unlike her male Dwarven counterparts, she was fascinated by jewelery, and thus founded Middle-Earth's first Jewelery Store in the Glittering Caves. This ALSO explains her desire to have a golden hair from the head of Galadriel. She wanted to know what hair-care products the Elven Ringbearer was using that kept her hair so strait, shimmery, and minty fresh *cough*. Last, but certainly not least, this explains Gimli's relationship with Legolas. They weren't just friends, they were goin' steady. Why else would a Dwarf and an Elf spend 120 years together and sail into the sunset together?

So, in conclusion, I really need to start taking those pills again.