[Mithalwen]

Wasn't there something about Grima not having words for Theoden's ear alone? "What is the house of Eorl but at thatched barn.." ?

Although there is no suggestion that there were arranged dynastic marriages in the Royal Houses of Gondor and Rohan as there were in European royal houses until so very recently, Eowyn would not necessarily have a free choice of spouse. For all her admiration for the soldiers, Eowyn is sufficiently cerebral to want more from a husband than a Middle Earth version of Captain Mark Phillips, and it seems the only cerebral man in the kingdom to whom she is not a close relative is the repulsive Grima.

Had the Grima's influence persisted, with Theodred dead and Eomer estranged, it is not hard to imagine that Eowyn migh find herself in a situation where she might find it difficult to refuse Grima. This might be a part explanation for her desire to ride to battle, the aaalternative might be a fate worse than death.

Although some people feel that Eowyn "settled" for Faramir, I think it is more that Aragorn provided an escape route, and was more of an example of the type of man she needed rather than the actual one.

Faramir actively sought to learn from Gandalf though and Denethor, wise in lore himself, no doubt took that as a slight.

In the light of Fordim's comments I wonder if it is significant that Boromir, a man who delighted in warfare at the expense of marriage, tried to talk the ring out of Frodo and failed (and in a sense paid for his failure with his death), while Faramir who has no desire for the ring and lets it pass from his hands, sucessfully talks his way into Eowyn's heart. Perhaps he is trying to tell us something about healthy and unhealthy desire.