Estelyn and Underhill,
Indeed, I think that is probably the most telling phrase, ""Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes... " in terms of Tolkien's idea of "this long defeat."
His comments on courtly love I think are interesting if considered in light of Arwen and Aragorn.
Quote:
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Its [ie, 'the romantic chivalric tradition'] weakness is, of course, that it began as an artificial courtly game, a way of enjoying love for its own sake without reference to (and indeed contrary to) matrimony. Its centre was not God, but imaginary Deities, Love and the Lady. It still tends to make the Lady a kind of guiding star or divinity--of the old-fashioned 'his divinity'=the woman he loves--the object or reason of noble conduct. This is, of course, false and at best make-believe.
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He does clarify this criticism later by suggesting an element of nobility, but it perhaps suggests why the death of Arwen, in Appendix A, is so poignant, all the caveats about not reading his Catholicism into LOTR notwithstanding.
Bethberry
[ February 17, 2003: Message edited by: Bethberry ]