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but I have never been to a proper hairdresser in my life and so my idea of regular haircuts is lopping the straglier ends off with my desk scissors.
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I'm the same. It makes me laugh, because I get compliments on the one thing I spend no time on caring for. Meh. It's good to have at least one thing to feel smug about.
Though it needs washing every day or else I wake up looking like a flaming medusa, literally, although some may say more like the Balrog of Moria...not just in appearance.