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Once Lily had gotten over the shock of Posco’s request, she was able to think clearly about it. Why would he ask such a thing of her? She did not doubt that he loved her, and he said that it would make him happier if she was confident that he was who she really loved. She sighed.
“Since you ask it of me, I will try,” said Lily. She had no resistence to his wishes. She would be polite to Tommy, and give him a chance; the question was whether her heart would really be in it.
“Good,” replied Posco, sounding as if he meant it. Lily only wished he didn’t seem quite so sure.
“I made a promise to you earlier, though. I said I would come back. Even if my choice were to be Tommy Banks, I should want to let you know...” Even as she said the words, she began to accept them. They didn’t sound right, even to herself, and she hated the unfortunate circumstances that forced her to consider loving one other than Posco. “Of course, if you didn’t want to see me then, I would understand,” she said, and stopped. This was coming out all wrong, and it would be easy to see how she might have caused Posco to misunderstand her. “Oh Posco, I must sound a blundering fool. But I will hope to come back, some day, and if I do it will be for you and no other.” She wished she could be more certain, but there was a niggling doubt in the back of her mind that she might not return, compounded by Posco’s request that she give Tommy a chance.
Suddenly she felt as if she were drowning in responsibilities. She could have remained in Bree; very likely Tommy Banks would now be courting her, and she would have been happy, because she would not have known Posco. She couldn’t change the past at any rate, and she wouldn’t want to, either, all told. Even with all the complications, they must be worth working them out. So far it had proved to be so. Simply running away seemed to be a great deal more desirable than when she had first presented the option only minutes before, but she knew that the solution would be much more difficult than that.
It occurred to her then how much it must have taken on Posco’s part to make the request. He wanted her to be happy, even if that meant she married Tommy. Surely that would cause untold hurt to him, but he had still asked. How selfish she had been, thinking only of herself!
“I will miss you,” she murmured, though her voice was still completely audible. “Even giving Tommy a chance won’t stop that.”
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