Bethberry, I can't help but agree about the way Elves are idealised. Its a trap too many of Tolkien's readers fall into. Tolkien himself was very clear. In letter 154 he writes:
But the Elves are not wholly good or in the right. Not so much because they had flirted with Sauron; as because with or without his assistance they were 'embalmers'. They wanted to have their cake & eat it; to live in the mortal historical Middle Earth because they had become fond of it (& because they there had the advantages of a superior caste) & so tried to stop its change & history, stop its growth, keep it as a pleasaunce, even largely a desert where they could be artists, & they were burdened with sadness & nostalgic regret.
A bunch of us actually went quite a way down this road, exploring the Elves attitude to mortality, time & death in another debate -
http://forum.barrowdowns.com/cgi-bin...1&t=003050&p=1
especially in the second half of the debate.