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But where's his shellsuit? Chav Gollum would also come complete with several chunky gold rings, to replace that other ring he lost...
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It makes you wonder what the Ring would be like. Maybe a large sovereign with an England flag on it - £19.99 from Argos. And instead of fighting with Deagol after a day's fishing, he would attack him after a burnout meet on the local Asda carpark on a Saturday night... Poor Gollum, being associated with that!