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I'm actually having a bit of trouble answering your questions on this because I do not have access to my books. I am rusty, and cannot recall where Melkor's capture falls in the timeline. I am tempted, though, to say that Melkor had already been significantly weakened in spirit (which was directly connected to his increasing incarnation), and was perhaps now not so impervious as he once was.
Spirits do not have physical strength: that is a contradiction. However, they can affect the physical realm when they are arrayed with a carnate form. The potency of their spirit then translates to the strength of their corporeal manifestation. Basically, ealar are a Consciousness and a Will: their "power" is the degree to which they can impose their will or compell/affect the world around them, whether it is spiritual or physical. In Tolkien's world, when an Incarnate dies, it is fairly ultimate, although they are not entirely wiped from existence. Where that remnant of spirit goes is a different topic, but it is effectively impotent. When an eala is clothed with a raiment, it maintains its eala nature while having a physical presence. When an eala has become incarnate--and this happens by degrees--due to indulgence in activities meant for Incarnates, that connection to the spiritual realm is dampened and eventually their existence on that plane is minimal, as that of the Children is. Elves are, as indicated by Gandalf's elucidation of what Frodo witnessed at the Ford, apparently more at a balance between the two planes than Men. I have postulated elsewhere that involuntary incarnation (Balrogs, Morgoth, Sauron), while bringing similar limitations and drawbacks, seems to be more irrevocably binding than voluntary incarnation (Istari, Melian) and perhaps this is due to the grace of the Powers, which is not extended to those who have trapped themselves through their own selfish indulgence.
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