The Silmarillion, whats that mate.
"Never heard of the bloody thing", says Jack Peterson the infamous Kiwi film director. "Does it have Hobbits in it?", he adds, thinking of the pile of rubber feet he had stashed away, in case he ever got around to rewriting the film script for The Hobbit/ There or Thereabouts. A bit of spray paint, along with a bit of tinsel could change Second/Third Age Armour into First Age. Employ all the same girly-blokes that played the elves, nobody will notice, rewrite a bit of the boring stuff, give everyone someone elses lines, above all change the names and introduce characters from nowhere
King Thingy Greatmangle (Elude Singular Lord of a Thousand Cafes, Manygrowth of Doorhehath)
Benny son of Barry, husband of Lillian Tinnitus, which is Frighteningwail to the Elves
King Thinrod Fellowgland, who had no wife.
Idiot Cerebellum wife of Chewer son of Hewer
Chewin a Chewinbar slayer of Glowlong
The Downsizing of Neomanor The Alackabath or Atollslanted (Those caught on the island got a bath whether they wanted one or not, due to Argh-Parazone revolt against Ill-Farter)
Those of the Fullfil who escaped Neomanor, led by Everdull son of Alldull, and his sons Evenduller and Anotherone( who is always forgotten about)
"Righto mate pass me the script, let`s make a moovie", say Jack Peterson.
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