I don't 'do' parties, because firstly, my house is far too crowded with books and mathoms and creatures that allowing more than two humans within is a recipe for disaster, and secondly, I am always so aftraid of offending anyone that I would have to invite everyone I knew, so the recipe for disaster would end up being served as a steaming dish. But anyway, 'tis a bit of fun, so here goes:
Lalwende's Breaking the Light Supper Thing
Now I'm not altogether fond of dinner parties, being quite self conscious when eating as I tend to spill food all over the place (and a bag of chips on a wall is much more my 'thing'), but I might hold a special one with the above theme. It would centre around discussion of theories of Light in Arda, and conversation would become very spacey and deep. To that end, I have had to invite those who seem to have an understanding of cosmological concepts and a willingness to risk madness in pursuit of that understanding.
The table will be round, as like King Arthur, I wish all to be considered as equals. And this dinner party will be held in a big old tent thingy (what other people with more posh circles of acquaintance may know as a Marquee) with a hole in the ceiling to let all the smoke out, and allow the night air in to soothe troubled brows.
Saruman - not popular at Downer dinner parties, I should have to hope he could regain his physical form and attend (though if he came in spirit form at least it would leave more food and drink for everyone else), as I am quite desperate to know if he was performing acts of evil, thought he was being a scientist or was some kind of heretic. He can explain that staff and what he was doing with the Palantir too.
Gandalf - as a foil to Saruman, I would want him there to calm the effects of his former leader's voice. But also to give his perspective on what exactly Saruman was doing wrong. I'd hope he'd explain something of the Secret Fire too.
Boromir88 - because he is willing to jump in and tackle the thorny issue of Light, science and cosmology and not afraid to speculate.
davem - because he too is willing to discuss this and he knows all about Fleiger and is very clever, and that last thing will quite go to his head.
Child - she knows about Light, too, and Fleiger. And she also has a calming influence which will stop any potential cross-table bun-throwing.
Galadriel - already very popular at Downer dinner parties I suppose I should have to book her months in advance. But her presence is required as she understands the divinity of Light.
Mark 12_30 - with her different perspective on the matter of Light and Divinity, she will enliven the table by posing questions that the rest of us might not have thought about.
Me - I'm not spending all night in the kitchen though.
Food and drink - the food will be provided by Rick Stein because as we all know, fish is good for the brains and they will be needed. And the grub in his restaurant is splendid. The drinks will consist of strange brews to stimulate the mind almost to the point of madness, and good pure Yorkshire water - my tipple of choice. Large bowls of tobacco will be placed on one of those lazy susan thingys in the middle of the table, and hopefully nobody will grumble about the smoke. I might consider serving a large vat of custard as Boromir88 may show willing to try out the theory that you can walk on it, which will suit the scientific theme of the evening - though he must not stand still as then the custard will act as quicksand and he will be trapped in it forever.
This dinner party will be such an outrageous success that it will be followed on the next day by:
Lalwende's Bun Feight
The table again will be round, as the theme of this dinner party will simply be 'laugh until your sides split', and a round table will facilitate better banter. I think I may again decide to hold it in the tent thingy, as I don't want my house ruined by any chucked food. And of course, I will be keen to get an extra night's usage out of aforementioned marquee, and it would be amusing to have it sent back slightly soiled. Anyone who even attempts to be serious shall be immediately forced to go into the kitchen and wash up. Alas, there is a slight gender imbalance here, as despite having so many marvellously funny ladies on the Downs, they are not quite so common seemingly within Middle Earth.
Mithalwen - because she does not fail to make me laugh and I want to see if she shouts when she's drunk.
Eomer of the Rohirrim - for his witty one-liners, and to keep Mithalwen quiet too.
Bilbo Baggins - because he's Bilbo, and my very favourite Hobbit, and of course he must come because of his way with words, upsetting people with his peculiar sense of humour and all that!
Tom Bombadil - to entertain us with some silly songs, some tall tales and his stomping about.
Davem - he gets another invite, because once he starts laughing, he doesn't stop for hours.
Bethberry - as she is not only frightfully smart, but very witty with it.
Estelyn - for her wonderful gentle humour, and her way with trouble makers; I have no doubt she will prevent any excessive chucking of food.
Heren-Istarion - he has such a strange sense of humour, slightly sarcastic, very clever, but never unpleasant!
Food and drink - now, I think the food should be mainly centred around things like cake - also known as 'buns' in these here parts, hence the 'feight', which suggests a 'fight' but in reality just means a party. Though I might also serve up fish and chips and mushy peas, in newspaper. The drinks served will be ales and lashings of ginger beer. The police will be called at 1am due to all the laughing echoing around the neighbourhood.
