Sauron: A cruel and heartless individual who is to be avoided at all costs. We warn you: even your towel will be small protection from the ghastly terrain of his home in Mordor. It's unlikely that you will ever be invited to tea, but in the event that you are unlucky enough to receive such an invitation, two things must be kept in mind. The first: do not accept any gifts from him. And the second: do not allow yourself to listen to any of his poetry! It is quite possibly the worst poetry in Middle Earth, second only to one.* Both gifts and poetry may result in enslavement and his permanent posession of your mind.
*See
Tom Bombadil.
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Ah, this is too amusing.
