...so Meela can write it...lalala...
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Scene: Outside of the citadel, Gandalf storms out with Pippin in tow.
Gandalf: All has turned to vain ambition. He would even use his grief as a cloak. *grumblegrumble* A thousand years this city has stood. Now, at the whim of a madman, it will fall. And the White Tree, the tree of me...I mean the king, will never bloom again. It's a very temperamental tree, and will only bloom if fed the finest plant food. Needless to say,
Denethor is a cheapskate who wouldn't buy plant food for his own mother. I remember, I needed to borrow three silver pennies for tolls...
Pippin: Why are those *teehee* men with the *teehee* silly helmets guarding it then? *teehee*
Gandalf: They guard it because they still have hope. Plus there's a depression, and jobs are hard to come by.
Yes, a faint and fading hope is still there that one day, the Tree will flower. That a king will come and this city will be as it once was, and they will get a raise and new uniforms.
The old wisdom borne...
Pippin: Jason Bourne? He's cool.
Gandalf: ... ... ... no. The old wisdom borne out of the West was forsaken. King made tombs more splendid than the houses of the living, and counted the old names of their descent dearer than the names of their puppy dogs.
Childess lords sat in aged halls, musing on heraldry or in high, cold towers, asking questions of Encaitare.
Pippin: Who?
Gandalf: And so the people of Gondor fell into ruin. The line of kings failed. The White Tree was malnourished. The rule of Gondor was given over to *cough* lesser, weaker, stupider, not-me men.
Pippin: Oh look. Over. There. Mordor.
Gandalf: Yes, there it lies. Why they built Gondor so close I'll never know...
Pippin: Perhaps it's because Minas Tirith was built along with Minas Ithil to be a watchtower in case of the return of Sauron.
Gandalf: What? Who told you
that?
Pippin: I believe YOU did.
Gandalf: Duhhhhh....oh yes. Glad to see you were paying attention, and not sleeping like I thought you were...*harrrrumph*
Pippin: Oh yes, I thought your discourse on femenine undergarments was very informative. HAHAHAHAHAEHHEHEEEEHEEEEHAHAAAAHAAAAAAA!! A
CORSET! You are tooooo much, Gandy old man! HAHAHAAAAAA!
Gandalf: Drat.
Pippin*still wiping away tears*: Hoohoohaahaaa...hey look, a storm is coming...heehee...
Gandalf: This is not the weather of the world. It's a device of Sauron's making...oh forget it! I HATE HOBBITS! *he storms off*
Pippin: A corset..heehee...
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Next scene would be the Crossroads.
Here is the RotK EE script.