Did this essay have a grade on it, by any chance?
Sorry, had to ask.
Probably the part that I would correct--aside from the points already mentioned, of course--is their spelling (and grammar). Unless Elianna's suddenly sprouting typos in her relation of the essay (and none that I noticed in her post), the writer seems to think that the Naugrim are called 'dwarfs' instead of 'dwarves'... Wasn't Tolkien rather annoyed when his editors made that 'correction' to his text?
Quote:
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This is a world where elves, wizards, orcs, and other majestic creatures.
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Aside from the fact that I wasn't aware Orcs were majestic, this is a nasty little fragment. It's not even the sort of fragment that people use to add emphasis. Like this one. It's one of those points where the sentence just cuts off and doesn't finish.
I actually came away from the entire essay with that impression. The author sounds like s/he was in a hurry...
As for the guy suggestion... Tolkien himself was a man. I somehow think that that argument doesn't really hold much water...