[Anguirel]

THE RETURN OF THE KING by Evelyn Waugh


"So the ruffians were allowed to surrender, as you promised me?" Frodo Crouchback asked.

Merry De Souza shook his head. "Awfully sorry, old chap. The partisans up at the Smials insisted we shoot them all. After all, they were traitors against the Communist state."

"They'd done nothing wrong," Frodo replied. "The woman in charge of them insisted they were displaced factory workers, nothing more."

"They were a danger to the sovereign power of the Party in the Shire," De Souza replied curtly. "The price they paid was appropriate. Oh, and by the way, there's a telegram...two, actually..."

Frodo took them from De Souza uneasily. The first read:

Crouch End. Rosie has had a son stop. Best wishes sir Sam Gamgee stop.

The second:

Michel Delving War Office. We regret to inform you that a bomb landed on your residence at Bag End yesterday evening, killing all inside except one newborn infant stop.

***

Frodo looked at the baby in horror. "It's...ah..."

"Doesn't look anything like Sam, does it?" the Gaffer growled. "No, everyone knew that girl was carrying Ted Sandyman's child."

"It doesn't matter whose son it is," Frodo answered. "I must bring it up."

"It'll need a mother," the Gaffer observed. At that moment, Pervinca Took walked by. Frodo hung his head in quiet resignation.

Later in the day, he remembered Arwen's jewel, and how it had fallen into a quagmire on the way home. He had feared then for his path to the West. Now, saddled with wife and child, he knew the journey could no longer occur. He only hoped he wouldn't be forced to act as Mayor, now Sam was dead. His shoulder was aching.

***

In Gondor, two gloomy, armoured men sat in a pub. Faramir had lost his seat as Steward of Gondor at the election, to a young Labour candidate. Aragorn had found himself unemployed after the postwar abolition of the Gondorian monarchy.

"Any news from Frodo Crouchback?" he asked.

"Married," Faramir said bitterly. "He's got a grand new house up in Buckland, and a son and heir. He's been appointed Mayor of the Shire in perpetuity for the rest of his life."

"Yes, all in all," Aragorn concluded, "things have turned out very well for Frodo."