I feel that a point we are missing is how Tolkien seemed to view those who are healers or gardners. It's obvious Tolkien did not glorify war and Eowyn can lead as a succesful and fullfilling life healing and tending as she could being a shieldmaiden. Look at Numenor in the first 2000 years or so. There weren't warriors and this was the greatest civilization among mortals ever to exist. Tolkien holds them in high esteem.
The difference being that we don't hear much about that because they don't make as interesting a story as war would. The legends wouldn't be passed down as readily as those of great warriors ie Hurin, Beren, Fingolfin, et al.
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This seems to me to be a very drastic change in eowyn's character? How could one change so much in moments? It seems to me impossible that her old spirit would have completely left her.
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Without going into details I can say the I had the shadow pass from me about 9 years ago and I changed in a moment. I felt entirely different from one moment to the next. So this drastic a change in character is not as shocking to me.