Night comes and passes before the signal beacon reaches Rohan, where Aragorn sees it and runs into Meduseld.
Aragorn: The Beacons of Minas Tirith! The Beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid!
Théoden remains silent. Éowyn stands beside her brother. Everyone waits for the King's answer.
Théoden: Uh, what?
All: *
groan*
Aragorn: The Beacons? Y’know, the things built in case Gondor needs your help?
Théoden: What do they want now? Last time they lit the darned things, they were just asking for a cup of sugar!
Aragorn: I think they need more than a cup of sugar now.
Théoden: What?!
Two cups?
Aragorn:
Théoden: What did I tell you about rolling eyes in my . . .
Éomer: The Sound FX man is making hoof beats. Someone’s coming!
All hold their breath as the door opens and reveals . . .
All: BOROMIR?!
Boromir: No, I’m not Boromir. But I’m wearing his clothes.
All exchange dubious looks.
Boromir: *
clears throat* I’m Hirgon, and I bear this to present to the King of Rohan. *
reveals something from under his cloak*
Théoden: The Horn of Gondor? No, thanks, Boromir.
Boromir: *
tosses horn aside* Hehe. I meant this. *
reveals some other thing from under his cloak*
All: *
GASP!*
Théoden: The Red Arrow! In all my years as king I have never needed to spin it.
Aragorn (
to himself): "Spin" it???
Boromir: But you know the rules, right?
Théoden: Yes. We go where it points.
Boromir: Very good, sire. *
sets the Red Arrow on a table*
Aragorn: I thought the Red Arrow was supposed to be a token of Gondor’s need?
Éomer: Oh, get off it, Aragorn. Nobody gets help for free now.
Éowyn: Yes. We need the chance to escape from our responsibilities.
Théoden spins the arrow. It points towards Minas Tirith.
Some Old Historian: In all the years of the Mark, no one who has spun the arrow has ever needed to do his duty. Now tradition is broken. ROHAN IS DOOMED!!! *
runs off into the wild blue yonder, tearing off his clothes*
Théoden: *
shrugs* OK, so I’m a lousy spinner. I guess we have to come to Gondor’s aid.
The muster bell is struck. Men climb on horses. Théoden and company stride out of Meduseld. Théoden is talking to Éomer.
Théoden: Assemble the army at Dunharrow; as many men as can be found. You have two days . . .
Éomer (
puzzled): Two
days? Sir, I’ll have it done in two hours.
Théoden: Very well, then. On the third, we ride for Gondor. And war. *
turns to Gamling* Gamling!
Gamling: My Lord.
Théoden: Make haste across the Riddermark. Summon every able-bodied man to Dunharrow.
Gamling: All twenty of them?
Théoden: What do you mean, "All twenty"?
Gamling: Sir, most of the able-bodied men are in Far Harad, working for those rich oil magnates. That’s why we had a great petrogold income this year.
Théoden: *
sigh* Just get them to Dunharrow.
Gamling: As you wish, sire.
Aragorn is securing his gear on Brego. Éowyn joins him, leading a horse with her.
Aragorn: You ride with us?
Éowyn: Just to the encampment. It's tradition for the women of the court to farewell the men.
Aragorn (
staring weirdly at Éowyn): Izzat so . . . ?
Aragorn walks over to her horse and lifts up the folded blanket, revealing a sword. Éowyn pulls it down.
Éowyn: So I’ll go off into Minas Tirith. Big deal.
Aragorn: Let me tell you a story: Once, some gal rode off to war. Her uncle found out and gave her such a spanking she can never sit down again for the rest of her life.
Éowyn:
Is it true? Who did it happen to?
Aragorn: Nah, I just made it up. *
rides off laughing*
Éowyn:
So much for hope. But . . . he
is still charming . . . *
rides off after Aragorn*
The women and children of Rohan are saying good-bye to the men.
Woman: Don’t forget! I want an extra large pizza with all the toppings!
Rider: I won’t forget, mom!
Éomer talks to the riders.
Éomer: I guess this is the time I say something encouraging to you guys.
Silence
Éomer: Oh, let’s just go.
The Riders of Rohan, led by their King, leave Edoras. Merry, on a pony, rides with them.
__________________
I think someone better than I should do the lighting of the more-than-seven Beacons.
Vy ze vay, I call dibs on Dunharrow. I have a special script for Rohan's "Army."
