[Oddwen]

Whoa, don't click on Nilp's above link! Unless you want your eyes to be assailed by the Red "The" Of Dooom!

-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-

*meanwhile, back at Osgiliath*

*Faramir is running, running. All about him are Orcs and his fellow men. The men are dying. He runs through an arch, followed by the living...*

Madril: Faramir! Duck!

Faramir: Quack, quack!

*Fortunately for the Steward's heir, he triPs on one of the dead and goes sprawling as the Gondorian archers loose their arrows at the following Orcs*

Madril: We cannot hold the Orcs back! The city is lost!

Faramir: But surely there are a few brave men who...

Madril: BY THE NOSE OF THE LORD FARAMIR, RETREAT!

Various Soldiers: Ai, the command of the Nose! We are lost!

*Suddenly, Nazgûl appear, and begin to rake men from their posts high up in the towers and to subsequently drop them from great heights*

Faramir(nose pointed to the sky): NAAAZGÛÛÛÛLLLL!!

Madril: Please, please not a repeat of that scene from TTT...

*The Nazgûl swoop down towards Faramir, but are confounded and swept away as Faramir strikes at them with his nose*

Madril: ...What are you doing, my lord?

Faramir: I am *grunt* fighting a losing *swipe, screech!* battle, Madril!

*Finally, the Nazgies are confounded, giving the men of Gondor time to retreat for their horses. Alas for Madril, as he ran for his horse Mookie, an Orc steps out from behind a post and wounds him*

Madril(lying on the ground, wheezing): Ouch...pain...hey guys? Wait up! If you could just wait a second...ow...'tis but a scratch...

*Slowly, slowly the living approach. At their head is a pink monstrosity, a fearsome color amongst Sauron's army. After all, 'tis but a watered-down shade of red*

*Madril looks up from his vantage point with fear in his eyes, and the "Orc" stabs down with his blade*

Orc #7: My lord...that was his thigh.

Gothmog: Oops *stab*

Orc #7: That was his shoulder, lord.

Madril: Ouch!

Orc #18: Go for his vitals, his vitals!

Gothmog: *stab stab stab stab*

*Finally, Madril's chest was crushed and he could breathe no more*

Gothmog: The age of Men is over. The time...of the Orc has come.

Orc #82: Then what are YOU doing here?

Gothmog: *stab!* Punk.

Random Pink Orc: I love you!

Gothmog: Freak. *stab!*

-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-

End of side one. Please fast forward side one, and turn the tape over to side two.

Next scene is "The White Rider Coming To The Aid Of What Is Left Of The Army Stationed At Osgiliath", or TWRCTTAOWISOTASAO.