[Anguirel]

I'm submitting to cynicism and taking up the no-brain role of prosecutor.

Let's have a look at this *Glorfindel's* career.

Not a member of the golden house of Finrod and yet a blonde. This means that clearly, sometime in the First Age, he stole hair dye from-

A. Celegorm. This would mean that this so called hero had spent time hanging around with a traitor, murderer, abductor and Lord Fauntleroy-lookalike.

or

B. Oropher. This would mean that he falsified his claim to be of the Noldor, is some rustic Sinda, and blagged his way into Gondolin, where he killed the real Glorfindel and stole his identity during the chaos of the Siege. The prosecution thinks this the more likely.

Then who is he really? Or should I say she? For the smooth-talking Noldorin Lord is none other than...

Marysueowen, notorious feminist, inept singer, ninja assassin, illegal half-elf, and mother of Legolas!

This explains her constant resurrection and her effortless victories over Balrogs and Ringwraiths. Get rid of this abomination before it's too late!