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I wish orcs didn't smell so bad
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Your wish is granted. But since it is impossible to remove ork stench, the reformers chose to approach the problem from different angle. All the Free Peoples undergo nose-circumcision operation in the early childhood. Noselessness becomes hallmark of progress and democracy, and the custom is emulated by population of near Harad in the early days of Aragorn's reign. And though much beauty is lost forever when Legolas' nose is gone, new fashion of wearing mithril prosthetic nose-devices is introduced by him to Mirkwood
haut monde...
I wish Beorn ate Bilbo