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Newsflash: Gangs of vicious, bloodthirsty Hobbits are attacking defenceless, fit, young Orcs!
Or
Sam: Hello there, you sexy devil! What's a pretty Orc like you doing here all by himself?
Gorbag: *Oh my God, did he just pinch me in the butt?!*
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'I am the Elder king: Melkor, first and mightiest of all the Valar, who was before the world, and made it. The shadow of my purpose lies upon Arda, and all that is in it bends slowly and surely to my will.'
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