[The Squatter of Amon Rûdh]

If Luthien had happened to be a bit more, shall we say, Reubenesque, there would have been a lot of fun to be had with her good voice. "Damn." said Beren "Over already and not an enemy in sight, which means it's going to be pneumonia or something. I bloody hate opera."

On the other hand, one might as well ask: "Would Gandalf have been so important if he'd been stupid?" or "If Aragorn were a coward, would he have been King of Gondor?" or even "What if Beren had been pale, pigeon-chested, knock-kneed and short-sighted, with a penchant for painting bad watercolours?"

What if they'd both been ugly? That's the burning question here in Reading. Inquiring minds want to know!