[Valesse]

Originally Posted by Kitanna

I wish Fatty Bolger had been in the movies.

Your wish is my command, Kitanna!
Fredegar Bolger corners the camera man during Bilbo's party and tells a whole list of scandlous elf jokes. When Fro-jiah comes to protest Bolger calls him a scene-stealing git and punches him in the mouth. Frodo loses his front teeth during the brawl.
And now, instead of the awkward "Galadriel's mirror" scene where Legolas is first in the reflection the movie audience is welcomed by a sight of Fatty Bolger picking his nose and twitching, as it might be an after shock from having tea with that Nazgul. With a gasp of alarm, Frodo loses his balance along with a few more teeth.
Upon discovering him, Frodo kills Gollum in a jealous dental-induced rage, and never finds a way into Mordor.

I wish, instead of fighting, each confrontation would literally be a "Battle of the Bands"... or Bards for that matter.