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Originally Posted by hookbill of teh goomba
I wish Legolas was constantly drunk in Lothlorien.
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Your wish is granted. Legolas hit the bottle, and when he hit the bottle, he hit it hard. He spent his days sitting on the flets, staring morosely at a half empty bottle. As the wine fell, his spirits rose. By evening, he was feeling fit as a hobbit in summer. Then he would climb down from his flet, and go out wandering in the woods of Lorien. Invariabley, his wayward feet lead him (seemingly of their own accord) into the darker parts of town. Here there were pits that waited for good souls to entrap. Invariabley, his wayward feet led him (seemingly of their own accord) into the deepest pits.
It was always the same story. There would be good friends and good drinks. But these friends were really the treacherous kind that steal your money, and you drink. After a few drinks, there would be a fight. A few chairs would be broken. Then the bouncer would try to throw him out of the pit. But he fought them. Legolas liked it in the pit. Eventually he would move on to find some new entertainment, and would walk off down the street, breaking windows with a chair-leg.
I wish Gandalf would have mediated strategic ring limitation talks between Sauron and the Elves.