[Sleepy Ranger]

Well my fellow dandies and dowdies and other such gentlemen and ladies, today's match was one to be seen! Oh course, we would all want to know about the riots on the field yesterday, but I'm afraid myself and the editor were seeing a wonderful performance of The Importantce of Being Ernest. On to the selected matches!

Moria vs. Rohan (1,0)

From watching this performance on the field, it seemed that Moria's players had a case of Dorian syndrome. Sad to say, they couldn't figure on who was to pass to whom. Rohan could only stand there with a case of Basil-like qualities, these poor fellows tried to play, but amongst the selfishness abound, it was rather a lost cause. In the end, Moria got itself together to make one goal between Bill the Balrog, Balin and Azog. Both were wearing Mithril and a flame proof underlining for Bill, to avoid scorches in the material. Azog was wearing a sort of funny number, something between vintage leather and Mithril, but in any cases he was there to make it a goal at 67 minutes with a bit of a bicycle kick with some lovely shoes. Let us just hope they have their Dorian syndrome undercontrol for any other future matches.

Rivendale vs. Vinyamar (1,0)

In this match there was no doubting Vinyamar's performance upon the field! That was until Glorfindel stepped up with his blue suede shoes and green uniform. He shot with the elegance of Baudelaire, but Turgon came in for a corner clearing. he by the way was wearing a rather Ulmo-inspired number, of silver silk and a deep blue velvet crest in the front. Elrond's performance could only be saved by that of those wonderfully handsome twins, Elladen and Elrohir. A surprise attack from the goalie was saved by Elrohir's clumbsy score. The match was as other would say 'undeserved' to Rivendale, but we all know that blue suede always wins...


Interviews


This is the portion of the sports review that I know you all love, the interviews! Today we've chosen three beings with some amazing talent, instead of just one or two. Our first interview is with the lovely Quickbeam. He was kind and hasty enough to grant us an interview about his performance on the field.


Titania: Well, well! For a rowan tree you certainly had speed upon the green!

Quickbeam: I know. I don't see why not anyways, we trees need to start stepping up to the challenge instead of all of this photosynthesizing business.

Titania: Of course! Though, it seems your team captain had a bit of a scuffle with your shot between the keeper...

Quickbeam: Treebeard is always doing that! But, like I said to him: " We didn't have any time left anyways! It was then or never!" Besides, that keeper had a clubbed foot and I could have made a goal into the box if it hadn't been for his little intervention...

Titania: Certianly you could say it was a clash of defense, but mind if I ask you some questions? They might help you blow off all of this steam.

Quickbeam: Certainly, anything to get Treebread's voice out of my head...

Titania: Thank you! Alright then, I understand that rowan trees are part of the rose family, Rosaceae. Are there any tips you might suggest to a green thub about growing roses or rowan trees?

Quickbeam: Well you should! That's why we have such wonderful flowers as trees, not like those sappy pines, who can just make a soap opera about it... Anyways, our flowers blossom after the leaves have appeared (of course!) usually in May or early June, and grow in dense clusters that contain up to 250 of them! Plus, they smell great which helps to attract bees and many other species of insects. At the end of summer, we can but out our characteristically wonderful red berries... Holly is just a late-blooming copycat. Also, we prefer peat-like soils that are not too dry and enjoy some sun, but not too much.

Titania: Thanks for the wonderful information! I'm sure our gardeners everywhere will enjoy your helpful tips. Good luck on the field and keep a clear head, it was a priviledge to speak to you.

Quickbeam: No problem, just be sure to keep the soil well-

Titania: Okay! Thanks for your time, it was a pleasure to speak with you...

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Okay, our next interviewers are a pair of twins that I know many of you are just dying of pre-raphaelite madness to hear from! Well, I was lucky enough to snag an interview with them before their father demanded some attention as well...

Titania: You two really saved the team out there!

Elladen&Elrohir (switching off at every few words): Yes, you could say that. We know our father meant well, but it seemed that he needed some help.

Titania: Oh, how thoughtful. You both are an impressive team, but may I ask something?

E&E (still ever few words): Of course...

Titania: Was it your intention to pull a trip-trick and knock the ball in?

Elladen: You might think it was a trick, but really, my brother is just that clumbsy. From as long as I can remember, he's always tripped over his own feet and managed to score at the same time... For anything.

Elrohir: Hey! She was asking me! Sorry, my brother is a bit of an attention-pig with these things. It's sort of a habit with him. I really didn't know I was going to score. I was there, out in the field watching a bird or two and seeing father almost put his back out with the ball, then suddenly the ball comes towards me and then i'm doing this tripping dance with the ball... Then, a goal!

Elladen: Wait! Not once did you mention my wonderful pass to you! If it wasn't for that you still would be standing there, waiting to fall on your face!

Elrohir: You are just jealous of my amazing tripping-goal scoring skills!

Titania: Both of you SHUT IT! Sorry, but I don't think the magazine has enough type-spacing for your arguement. Even though, it was rather wonderful.

E&E: Really?

Titania: Yes, but now onto other things. What do you think of the team as a whole and future games?

E&E: Well, we might have to get our keeper up to par and mix a few things here and there, but it's turned out better than we expected.

Titania: Wonderful! Well, I wish you two, the tripping-goal trick and the Riveldale Team the best out there.

E&E: Thanks for the support!

(Elladen walks out of the interview without a problem, Elrohir trips over a mircrophone wire then jumps up and goes on his way...)

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Well, that is all for today dear lads and lasses, until later on when we will be reporting about the tomorrow's sure to be heated matches!

All credit to THE Ka for writing this. Excellent stuff.