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I found this one somewhere else. I can't remember where, though. Sorry if this is old.
(Gollum is dancing at the Crack of Doom.)
Sam: Why isn't he falling off like in the books?
Frodo: Well, it looks like I'll have to push him in.
Sam: Mr. Frodo, make it look like your fighting him for the Ring.
Frodo: Why?
Sam: For the audience, Mr. Frodo.
Frodo: Ah, yes. The audience. (Goes and fights Gollum.)
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"And forth went Morgoth, and he was halted by the elves. Then went Sauron, who was stopped by a dog and then aged men. Finally, there came the Witch-King, who destroyed Arnor, but nobody seems to remember that."
-A History of Villains
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