[The Elf-warrior]

Q: Who was Denethor?
A: Middle-earth's most famous charcoal maker.

Q: How was Legolas able to keep his hair in order?
A: Because Aragorn made Pippin Legolas's slave after he caught him rummaging through his loveletters from Arwen.

Q: Why didn't the sons of Feanor forget their oath and save Middle-earth a lot of trouble?
A: Because they bet big money that they would get the Silmarils back.

Q: Why didn't the Eagles take the Ring and destroy it?
A: Because they were on strike.

Q: Why did both the Barrow-wight and the Witch-King at the battle of Pellenor Fields have visible eyes?
A: Because the Barrow-wight made the Witch-King moderater of the Ego forum.