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Originally Posted by Fordim Hedgethistle
I shall be a lithesome Pearl Diver.
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A Pearl Diver, eh? Now that takes me back to the days when we was sailing the seas far south, in the ocean that lies off Far Harad. The things that dwelt in those seas you wouldn't believe. Oysters as big as houses, there were. And the pearls! Larger than you could imagine they were. Dangerous they were to get hold of, mind you. Them oysters could take yer arm off. Happened to our second mate, it did. Took is arm right off it did. Took it off, I tell thee. I was more lucky mind. Managed to grab three of the beauties, I did. Three of them, I tell thee. Mind you, I lost them when we fell foul of them nasty Haradrim pirates some days later. Cast adrift we were. Those of us that they didn't toss to the sharks, that is. Tossed 'em to the sharks they did. And the size of them sharks! Well, you wouldn't believe it it you saw it. Cast adrift for eight weeks we were, with them bloomin' great sharks circling us every day. Eight days being circled by sharks the size of Oliphaunts, I tell thee. It was a wonder we survived. Many of us didn't, mind.
And you talk to me of Unions, young Gurthang me lad. We didn't have unions to help us grab them pearls or fight off them Haradrim pirates or ward off them flippin' great sharks. No, we didn't 'ave no unions in them days, I tell thee. Now get away with thee, and we'll have no more talk of Unions. Unions! Tsk. Them and their health and safety rules. There'll be no more diving for pearls if they have their way. We will be shipbuilding. With all the will in the world. Diving for dear life. When we could be diving for pearls.
Or maybe it's just a rumour that was spread around town.
Unions! Tsk! Whatever next?