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I'm not sure "lust" is the right word. Didn't Tolkien say somewhere that Eowyn's feelings for Aragorn did not really change that much but that she grew to understand them better?
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I'm not sure what Tolkien said on the matter, but I think you're right and saying
lust isn't a right word. I think Eowyn was just misled by her own feelings in believing that Aragorn could be something for her that he couldn't. I think "unrequited love" would be a better term...ahh Shakespeare.