[Anguirel]

It's not Legolas' portrayal in the films that has distorted him somewhat irreparably for me. Rather, it's the reaction of filmgoers to the onscreen Legolas; and here I would class the contortions of Legolovers and purists as equally damaging, really.

Admittedly, film-Legolas for me was a good deal less than perfect. But as he was my favourite character when I first read the book at the age of six, that was always going to be rather difficult. I was annoyed by the blonde wig (Legolas is obviously dark) and the loss of the incredibly moving Sea-Longing scenes, but not to the point of delirium, foaming at the mouth etc.

No, what was dreadful was when it became clear that everyone had noticed Legolas. That they were either singing his praises or ripping him to pieces in berserk rage. Mud stuck on two sides; the fangirls were idolizing a simpering yellow-haired luvvah who quickly began to overlap with Orlie himself; the sceptics were yelling hackneyed and irritating names like "Captain Obvious!" and telling long, boring jokes about Legolas' shampoo supply.

Between them they ruined his gravitas. I began to realise I would have difficulty taking Legolas seriously again. That the Elf who fought perilously and wept into the sea was being forgotten. The mob had surrounded Legolas like a group of small boys fighting over a toy, and torn him to pieces...

And Mith, with respect, I'm sure Polynesians have been surfing away since 5000 BC, but I know and you know that the filmmakers don't care less about that aspect. They're aiming to suck up to skaters, and that does worry me a little. But it's a minor point, and really I believe, as I say, that the fans-aye, that we-are to blame for the defamation of poor old Leggy.

(Every time you say Leggy, another piece of Legolas' integrity dies...)