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"Tarnation!" cried Wilhelmina. Rather, that was what she'd meant to say, but in her newly Orkish state, a stream of rude words burst out instead. She weighed her options. She could attempt to replace the tires, but she honestly had no idea how. Or, she could get out and walk -- but she didn't know how to get to Edge-Where at all! Many of the drivers behind her were honking and shouting. One pulled around in front of her, yelling, "Call a tow truck, lady!"
Now there was an idea! Wilhelmina turned off the car, found her new cell phone, and dialed Information. For a long while she heard nothing but some Mūzak melodies. Finally, there came a voice: "Information, how can I help you?"
"I need a tow truck," she told the operator.
The operator made a scoffing sound. "In this traffic? Are you kidding me? Look, ma'am, is it a five-car pileup?"
"No, but I've got three flat tires in the middle of the road."
"You're not native to Lūndūn, are you, ma'am?" the operator asked sympathetically.
"No," Wilhelmina admitted.
"Then let me be the first to tell you that the towing companies here only come under two circumstances: a pileup of at least five cars, or a parking violation."
"That's--"
"Have a nice day, ma'am, and enjoy your stay in Lūndūn!" the operator said brightly. Then there was a click, and a dial tone buzzed in the bewildered woman's ear.
"Well! If that's not the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard!" she huffed, hopping out of the PT Cruiser. "I suppose I'll have to check my map again, as convoluted as it is." She did so, and decided that she had to head down a particularly crowded street to her left in order to get in an Edge-Whereish direction.
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