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I wish Bombur had joined the fellowship of the ring
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Granted. Unfortunately, being already very fat and heavy, Bombur should be carried by four young dwarves, and since agreed number of Fellowship is nine, hobbits and Gandalf are excluded. Aragorn, Boromir, Legolas and six dwarves set out, but never reach Mordor - hungry Bombur, having eaten all the provisions, eats firts Legolas, than Boromir, than Aragorn, than his four porters and Gimli and finally the Ring. Though Rings of Power are said to be destroyable in Dragon-fire only, dwarven gastric juices offer acid strong enough for One Ring to be melted, Middle-Earth is saved, Arwen stays immortal, Denethor remains the Steward and everybody but for the eaten and their relatives (who mourn just a little) lives happily ever after.
I wish orks would repent and be pardoned