[Hookbill the Goomba]

Hookbill scratched his head nervously as Wilhelmina peered at him under her dark eyebrows. He glanced back at the window and then back into the room. "You know, I only wanted to escape," he said, "until you pointed it out, I didn't realise the drop." Yet still, his eyes moved back and forth between the room and the window, as if he was weighing up both possibilities. Eventually he sighed and picked up the magnifying glass.

"Now, lets have a look at you," he said nervously standing and moving towards her, "Good Lord, is that the time, I am sorry, it looks like I'll have to go bye!" but before he could leave, Wilhelmina tripped him up and he fell on his face with a thud. She scowled at him and he rose, holding back tears.

"Look here, Doctor, if you really are one," Wilhelmina began,

"That’s just it, I don't think I am," he looked at her hair through the magnifying glass, "a bit of a bald spot here," he said,

"WHAT?" said Wilhelmina, "How dare you!"

"It's nothing to worry about." he leaped behind the desk for safety, "tell me, have you ever been attacked by some Eagles?"

"Well," mused Wilhelmina, "there was this one time-"

"I see," Hookbill wrote some things down on his paper, "let me guess where this happened." the old woman cocked her head, "Hotel California?" No reaction, "Well, never mind. Just, get yourself down to the operation theatre and I'll get someone to go and heal you." he ushered Wilhelmina out of the door and then slammed it behind him.

He dashed around the room like a chicken anticipating having its head cut off on its wedding day. The little man dived under the table once again and tried to think of something that he could do. But his mind was a blank; all he could see was being stuck in Mordor forever, tending Orcs and all kinds. Slowly he began to cry again.

The intercom - palantir buzzed at him and he immediately seized it from the desk. "What? What do you want?" he demanded before taking the large textbook down and 'reading' it.

"Doctor," came the nurse's voice, "you're needed in the operating theatre."

"Why? I'm not ill," said Hookbill trying to see if the drop out of the window was really that far. It was. He swore.

"No, sir," laughed the nurse, "you're performing the operations. We have quite a crowd today."

"Crowd!" shrieked Hookbill, and he seriously considered the window, but found the latch was stuck again. He began to cry again. "Can't I just go home?"

"Oh Doctor," said the nurse, "this is your new home!" with that, Hookbill flung himself at the window and bounced off, landing flat on his back, looking up at the nurse. "Are you coming?" she said, and before he could answer, she dragged him off down the hallway towards the operating theatre. As all The Offending Party watched the squirming little man being pulled along, many began to laugh. Hookbill squeaked as a discarded syringe nearly pierced him. He began to cry again.