Alive without breath
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: On A Cold Wind To Valhalla
Posts: 5,912
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"Pleased to meet you, Dr. Hookbill." said Panakeia, "Why do you keep saying 'Oh, dear'? I can assure you, there's nothing wrong with me." Hookbill looked up sharply and began twitching like Gollum on a bad hair day... which was every day.
"Oh, but there’s something wrong with me," mumbled Hookbill as he sat down again, "Do you have any food?" Panakeia shook her head and Hookbill put his hand over his eyes and shook his head. He seemed to have a card on the desk that said, "congratulations on your successful operations" written in big bubble letters and a picture of a cartoon doctor showing a thumbs up with a patient on an operating table doing the same, only with a hole in his chest.
"Are you alright?" asked Panakeia as the tears rolled down Hookbill's face and he looked around his person for something.
"I'm looking for my stethoscope," he said eventually. He got up and walked around the room, coming to the bookcase he climbed up and began looking around. "It must be here somewhere." he threw all the books onto the floor, "not here," he mumbled. He went over to a filing cabinet and emptied it onto the floor. "Still nothing." he went to another table on the other side of the room, there was a large packet of crisps on top of some paper. "Ah ha! Naughty stethoscope, hiding in the crisps again!" he tore open th packet and crisps went everywhere. No stethoscope.
"Doctor?" said Panakeia,
"Its no good," moaned Hookbill (although he was happy inwardly), "I cant' do the physical, I cant' find the stethoscope."
"Have you checked the desk in front of you?"
"Oh, there it is." Hookbill picked it up and put the earpieces in, "Lets have a listen then."
"What to?" Panakeia thought about escaping almost as much as Hookbill did.
"Well... erm..." he paused, "the... erm... heart?" Panakeia sighed. Hookbill placed the listening part of the stethoscope on Panakeia's chest and listened. He hummed as if in thought, although the only thing he was thinking of was the best way to get out. "Yep, both working normally." he said moving back.
"What do you mean, 'both'?" Panakeia inquired, eyeing Hookbill suspiciously.
"Oh, you only have one heart?" he looked in the textbook which was mysteriously back on the desk, "Then we'll have to get that sorted. It’s a condition called 'Severe arctic heartic' making your heart beat so loud that it seems there are two of them. Ask the nurse for some pills and you'll be right as rain by tomorrow." Hookbill grinned inwardly, 'that was good' he thought.
"I don't believe you," said Panakeia, "Are you even a doctor?"
"Apparently," mused Hookbill, "that’s what they told me. But, if there appears to be no change, then... erm... go and see someone else about it. Good bye!" Panakeia gladly left and Hookbill slumped back in his chair, looking at the mess he had made. He hummed and began creeping towards the door. 'If I take my coat off and make a run for it, perhaps no one will notice Me.' he thought, but as he began to remove the blood stained coat, the intercom buzzed at him and he fell over.
"Doctor," said the nurse, "the patient you just sent to me can't take pills."
"Why?"
"We only have Orc pills," the nurse seemed concerned, "she'll have to go for surgery, I've sent her down there now."
Hookbill cried and fell to the floor. The door opened again.
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