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Alli woke up tied to a chair in the theatre. Her knuckles were bruised and throbbing. Her head was bruised and throbbing. It took several seconds of hard thought to remember that first she had been hit on the head. Bruise one explained. Then she had woken up en route to the theatre. Knowing that there was nothing wrong with her, as far as her slightly inebriated pseudo-doctor could tell, and that she was about to experience a pointless and forcibly performed surgery, fists flew.
The nurse's perfect blonde hair was now disarrayed. Her perfectly placed eyeshadow had smudged. Her perfectly pouty lips now actually pouted as her perfectly broken nose was jammed back into place by a real physician (with the appropriate non-levels of bedside manner) with a crunch of shifting cartelage. Bruise two explained.
Once Alli had managed to break the nose of her captor, she had been knocked out once more. Her head was really starting to hurt. The split from several days ago had reopened, oozing slightly. She looked down and admired her hands. They hurt, but Alli was willing to bet that the pretty blonde nurse, Meriseowyn, was hurting more. It made her smile in a cruel sort of way.
After all, being tied tightly to a chair with a scalpel coming closer every second gave Alli little reason to smile in a sweet sort of way. She was dead curious about just what these people planned to do to her.
Illamatar spoke.
"Use the force, Alli."
"Pardon?"
"The force."
"I'm slightly unaware of your meaning. What, if you don't mind my asking, is the force?"
"Ah, my mistake. Wrong dimension. Mumble mumble parallel universe mumble mumble Obi Wan mumble. Sorry about that. Baa."
Alli looked worriedly between the orcs that played nearby with knives and the quiet place in her head where these words echoed like thunder in the hills. Illamatar appeared, standing before her, his golden fleece glimmering in the stage-lights.
"What do I do, Illamatar? They're going to cut me open!"
"Grin an bare it."
"Bare what?!" Alli shrieked, blushing. "I'm not baring a single thing on stage in front of all of these people."
"Ah, my mistake again. Most sorry... misused homophone. This is really not my day. Baa. I meant to say grin and bear it." With that, Illamatar disappeared and Alli looked more nervous than ever. The surgical staff was getting closer and not even Doctor Hookbill seemed to be around. While she had little faith in his medical expertise, she at least applauded his ability to forget reality for a short time through "reading". That was what escapism was really about. When in doubt of the world around, take a good "read". That was a good life lesson. She grimaced and waited, hoping that something would happen.
Suddenly she heard mysterious song lyrics that had nothing to do with the story. Smiling, she bobbed her head to the tune. As she grinned, a bear appeared. She stopped grinning and it disappeared. She tried again, thinking this too good to be true. Surely enough, it came back. She happily thought how great it would be to be untied and, whaddaya know, here came the bear and untied her.
As orc security guards came closer, Alli enthusiastically smiled about how great it would be for them to be tied up instead. Whodathunkit, but wouldn't you guess that the next thing she knew, the bear was tying up the orcs?
Within a short amount of time, every orc in the theatre was fastened to a large and unmovable object. Alli grinned a lot and walked with the bear out the door.
As she passed through the open portal, a completely unexpected piece of Freud hit her in the already very sore head. Down she went and Doctor Hookbill looked at her.
"Oh dear..." he murmered, holding back sobs. "I believe there's a bone splinter. We'll have to operate."
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