His Imperial Majesty the Emperor Hongwu of the Great Ming Empire, Son of Heaven, Lord of Ten Thousand Years
To: The Persistently Pretentious Peasant styling himself Formendacil
His Imperial Majesty is pleased to command me, His Imperial Majesty’s humble avatar bearer and lowly magistrate of this flyspeck of an island, to again take up the pen in the cause of furthering Enlightenment throughout All-under-Heaven.
Attend to the Rescript which follows.
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His Royal Majesty, King of Gondor and Arnor, Heir of Elendil, Overlord of the Northern Hemisphere, the High King Formendacil Telcontar deigns to reply to his conquered vassal.
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Your manner worsens in your latest missive. It is a crime to even compare yourself to His Imperial Majesty in any manner. This is utterly unacceptable. Worse, even in your fevered imaginings you can only style yourself “royal.” Even a legitimate possessor of the style of “royal” cannot articulate thusly to one whose style is “Imperial.” Your ignorance of the hierarchies does not speak well of your claims.
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"I'll try to use smaller words from now on."
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His Imperial Majesty realizes with the greatest sympathy that correspondence with the Dragon Throne will tax the linguistic resources of even the greatest in the world. How much more so of a ragged unknown pretender from the supposed north of a house perpetually bereft of lordship and dignity? However, the application of grandiloquence to His Imperial Majesty’s correspondence is pleasing to His Imperial Majesty’s perception of decorum. This being the case, His Imperial Majesty is pleased to state it is His Imperial Majesty’s Will and Pleasure to persist in employing such magniloquence in all subsequent epistles.
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His Royal Majesty is amused to note that the alleged Empire of the self-styled "Imperial Majesty" has, in fact, been gone for more than couple centuries, and is known in it's current form as "the People's Republic of China".
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His Imperial Majesty finds this an interesting remark from an alleged ruler of a kingdom that His Imperial Majesty can find no reference to in any reputable chronicle nor any evidence that it currently exists or ever has existed.
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And, regarding suffrage/sufferance: perhaps His Royal Majesty mean that he willing suffers by allowing certain vassals to survive and insult him, such is his generousness to his conquered subjects.
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His Imperial Majesty understood you better than you did. His Imperial Majesty knew what you meant. However, His Imperial Majesty also understood that you failed to employ a tome known as a
Dictionary before dispatching your former message.
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His Royal Majesty notes that by the conquest of the Ming Empire, Gondor added its possessions to its own, and thus is clearly larger than the former nation known as the Ming Empire.
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His Imperial Majesty finds it passing curious that His Imperial Majesty can still find no evidence of this supposed event ever having occurred.
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His Royal Majesty notes that this is the sort of reply that an untitled pretender would make, and asks that he refer to the platter in question as mithril in the future.
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Considering that "His Imperial Majesty" is an untitled peasant, he really shouldn't be talking about being able to present a proper title.
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His Imperial Majesty possesses the Mandate of Heaven. This is literally worth the world more than birth or any other qualification you could name.
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His Royal Majesty would reminded the self-styled emperor that the regalia of the King of Gondor is, in fact, one of the icons of this website, a claim which the "Ming Emperor" cannot dispute.
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His Imperial Majesty's original enquiry was to the location and detail of your (non-existent) coronation portrait. It is no great marvel to point to a (mythical) albino tree and say, “Thus am I a king!” It is a marvel to point to the largest and most cultured empire of one’s day that is under the benevolent guidance of His Imperial Majesty and say, “Thus are we an Emperor!”
His Imperial Majesty again points out that His Imperial Portrait makes a spiffy avatar.
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His Royal Majesty notes that alliteration is hardly a defense of the self-styled emperor's pretensions to power.
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His Imperial Majesty observes that it makes His Imperial Majesty’s messages a sublime delight to the intellect to read.