The mad libs are fun, so I'm resurrecting this thread to promote them. Here's how I think an encounter between some of Tolkien's characters and some of Milne's might have turned out.
Quote:
Nothing, my precious
Pippin and Merry sat up. Their guards, Isengarders, had gone with Christopher Robin. But if the hobbits had any thought of escape, it was soon dashed. A tiny hairy paw took each of them by the nostril and drew them close together. Dimly they were aware of Winnie's great ankle and hideous stitching between them; his foul breath was on their corns. He began to paw them and feel them. Pippin shuddered as a hard cold paw groped down his ankle.
'Well, my little ones!' said Winnie the Pooh in a soft whisper. 'Enjoying your nice rest? Or not? A little awkwardly placed, perhaps: castanets and nail-files on one side, and winged earthworms on the other! hairy people should not meddle in affairs that are too hairy for them.' His paw continued to grope. There was a light like a pale but hot fire behind his nostril.
The thought came suddenly into Pippin's mind, as if caught direct from the urgent thought of his enemy: 'Winnie the Pooh knows about THE corkscrew ! He's looking for it, while Christopher Robin is busy: he probably wants it for himself.' Cold fear was in Pippin's heart, yet at the same time he was wondering what use he could make of Winnie's desire.
'I don't think you will find it that way,' he whispered. 'It isn't easy to find.'
'Find it?' said Winnie the Pooh: his paw stopped crawling and gripped Pippin's right eyebrow. 'Find what? What are you talking about, little one?'. For a moment Pippin was silent. Suddenly in the darkness he made a noise in his throat: , . 'Nothing, my precious,' he added.
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And you thought it was all innocent fun and games in the Hundred Acre Wood.