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Panakeia returned to class the next morning with her sample case in hand. Scoping the hallway outside the classroom, she picked an empty spot in clear view of corridor traffic and proceeded to set up her sales display. Just as she finished, Nichole came down the hall. She greeted Panakeia cheerfully.
"It looks like this is the big day. Are you ready?"
"I am. And I can't wait to put that troll in his place. Where is he anyway? Class is supposed to start soon."
They didn't have long to wait. A rumbling at the end of the hall announced his approach a few minutes later.
"Good morning, professor," Nichole chirped, an huge grin on her face.
Panakeia echoed the greeting. "Yes. Good morning." Looking down the hall beyond his cowboy hat, she called out, "Ah, I see we have another visitor." Her roommate was hurrying down the hall, calling to the professor. She held a slip that mysteriously appeared in her room during the night to inform her that she had been transferred to his course in futility. Only the half smirk on Panakeia's lips could have told her that the notice was a clever forgery designed to bring her to the class on this particular day.
"So, are we ready to begin?" Panakeia queried.
"Begin what?" replied the troll.
"My demonstration that marketing and sales are not futile."
"You continue to resist the truth? Begin if you wish, but remember this: resistance is futile." He stood aside and watched Panakeia start her sales pitch.
And what a sales pitch it was. Half an hour later, the sample case was empty and Panakeia's scarf was filled with coins. Better yet, the professor had been a major purchaser. His pockets were filled with Forest Fresh Moisturizing Hand Lotion and several packages of perfume. Panakeia's roommate bought a few boxes of Rosy Blush foundation and a frilly floral dress that Nichole had donated to the sale. As for Nichole herself, she retreated to a corner of the hallway, face buried in a handkerchief, shaking with silent laughter.
"Well, professor. It seems that my marketing is not futile after all. Just look at yourself. Did you really need those bottles of hand lotion? Or that perfume? No. But you bought them just the same. And what about you, my nameless roomie? Would you ever buy a dress like that on your own? Of course not. But I convinced you that you needed it. And my case is empty. I sold something to everyone who walked past, even though shopping was the last thing they were thinking about when they came by." Panakeia basked in her triumph. "What do you say? Do I get an A?"
The troll glowered. "Yes. Take your A." He threw the bottles of lotion on the floor. "You have your grade, but A stands for more things than a letter on your report card." He held out a threatening hand. "Panakeia, ape of the futile system, become Pan Akeia. A for Ape!" A shadow passed over the corridor, and the troll seemed to grow taller. Just for a moment. Then the shadow passed. Panakeia stood in the hallway unchanged. She laughed.
"What a nut! Come on, Nichole. Let's go for lunch. I'm hungry." They walked away.
Then Panakeia noticed that the people they passed were staring at her. She nudged Nichole. "Can you believe the way those people are looking at me?"
It was Nichole's turn to stare. She gave a little scream. "Panakeia! Look in the mirror. It can't be, it can't be true!"
Panakeia looked. An unfamiliar image looked back at her. She still wore a green dress, but it had turned olive green with a brown leather inset at the bodice. And her face was that of a chimpanzee with hair bobbed at the chin. Worst of all, she had a beard clinging to her face.
The professor came up behind Panakeia and grinned maliciously. "Panakeia, meet Pan Akeia. Don't be surprised if anyone calls you Zira. Resistance is futile." He strolled away, leaving Panakeia to stare after him helplessly.
"What are we going to do now?" said Nichole. For once, Panakeia was at a loss for an answer.
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