Quote:
I have just discovered that the Valentine I spent all weekend crafting in certainty that the recipient would find it amusing will in fact be completely insensitive and unwelcome
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Blegh...that sounds awful. My suggestion? Go get him candy. Sweets for the sweet...always has the power to make him feel just a little better, if he's going through a tough time. (And your phrasing made it sound like he might be.)
And because it is important to ensure you single people remember I'm human...
I assign to Mordor all the retarded state governments that can't figure out how to put the license plate and the driver's license bureaus in the SAME BUILDING with the SAME HOURS. Hail, to thee, my homeland! May I soon enjoy the sight of thy beauteous hills! (Yes, it's a little weird to refer to Indiana
quite so romantically, but deal with it. They're saner there. Marginally.)
I also assign to Mordor the company my husband works for. Their payroll changes mean we don't get a paycheck this week, and this week is when we're likely to need it more than a little.
While we're at it, I would also like to assign the hamburger I had for lunch. It was tasty, fresh, and inexpensive, but it dribbled ketchup down the front of my blouse. Some receptionist I am...I have a big red splotch on my chest.