[The Elf-warrior]

I wish Legolas was still alive, still living in "Middle Earth" (which now is what we call "Planet Earth") and posting on the 'downs

Your wish is granted. But when it was revealed that The Barrow-Wight was Legolas mass chaos erupted. The news reached the New York Times with the headline, "Stern forum moderater is Legolas." His house was mobbed by fangirls and others who wanted to talk with a member of the Fellowship of the Ring. But he was not there. He had fled to the woods of West Virginia. At least the Balrog wing debate was solved because of The Barrow-Wight's vote in the Balrog wing poll. But The Phantom became the new moderater and the members yearned for the days of The Barrow-Wight.

I wish Saruman hadn't turned bad.