Quote:
I wish The Balrog had decided to be civil and not tried to kill the Fellowship. Offering them a cup of tea instead. (Dr. Hoo)
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Your wish is granted. The Fellowship decides to have tea with the Balrog. Their stay lengthens to a week, and then a month. Frodo quickly becomes good friends with the Balrog, impressed by his charm and wit. The Balrog then declares that he is actually a she, a sister of Arien (who, after all, is also a spirit of fire, albeit uncorrupted). Frodo's affection turns to love, and they get married on top of Zirakzigil, in a ceremony done by Gandalf.
When Frodo was about to put the Ring (yes, the One Ring!) on the Balrog's finger, a Nazgūl takes the Ring, Gandalf suddenly uncloaks, and Pippin throws himself in next time. Utter confusion!
I wish Huan just laid the smackdown on Sauron.