Clearly Tolkien believed that the reader (or hearer) of tales is a co-creator, but not one in a position oof equality with the writer/teller of the tale. Tolkien (sub)creates a pseudo Medieval world, predominantly natural as opposed to man-made, filled with strange creatures, heroes & magic, with an underlying morality.
By writing such a convincing story, in such detail, Tolkien actually restricts what his readers can contribute to the story - you can't bring in cars or aircraft, you can't introduce new (female) characters into the central events of the story - you can write fanfic about secondary events where female characters take on central roles, but if you introduce a female character into the Fellowship for instance you're no longer a 'co-creator' with Tolkien: you've gone off on a tangent of your own. In other words, you can ask why there aren't loads of women running around Middle-earth whacking Orcs & chopping the extremities off Trolls, but you can't put them in there - not even in fanfic, because if there were such hordes of women doing that kind of thing at the end of the Third Age Tolkien would have mentioned it. Even fanfic written in response to Tolkien's desire that other minds & hands should take up brush & pen & continue the creation of Middle-earth is limited, as if it is to be 'authentic' it must not contradict what Tolkien has set down.
No 'equality' in this 'co-creation' I'm afraid. Tolkien is always going to be the dominant partner.
As to the original question. I've just come across the following passage in White's Once & Future King:
Quote:
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Yet Guenever could not search for the Grail. She could not vanish into the English forest for a year's adventure with the spear. It was her part to sit at home, though passionate, though real & hungry in her fierce & tender heart. For her there were no recognized diversions except what is comparable to the ladies' bridge party of today. She could hawk with a merlin, or play blind man's buff, or pince merille. These were the amusements of grown-up women in her time. But the great hawks, the hounds, heraldry, tournaments - these were for Lancelot. For her, unless she felt like a little spinning or embroidery, there was no occupation - except Lancelot.
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I think that could sum up the position of many of the women in Middle-earth at the time of LotR. Of course, its restrictive, & many women readers may even feel a desire to chain themselves to the railings of Minas Tirith, or throw themselves under Aragorn's horse in protest. But that's the world, those are the rules that Tolkien created. One point I would make, though, is that if warrior women & wise women were ten a penny in M-e Eowyn would not stand out as such a strong & significant figure, or Galadriel be such a mysterious & inspiring one. Can't have it both ways....