[the phantom]

Oh, just so everyone knows, don't put any money on a hobbit team.

They were somehow able to do well in soccer, who knows exactly how, but in American football they have absolutely zero chance.

I'm not all that big, but when I play football with younger cousins or kids that I tutor, I am able to score a touchdown literally any time I choose to. A twelve year old is entirely incapable of tackling me, much less a large football player.

If they put their arms around my legs I simply put one foot in front of the other like usual and break right through their hold. If they jump up on my upper body I use my free hand and push them right off, or I simply carry them with me. In my experience, it takes sometimes three, but usually four twelve year olds working in unison to bring me down, but that's only when I have allowed them to catch me in the first place, and when I'm not being my roughest with them. If I really wanted to, I could give the stiff arm to any would be tackler and shove them straight to the ground, or put my shoulder into them and knock them off their feet and the wind out of their lungs.

That's what would happen in any game featuring hobbits versus men, elves, werewolves, or balrogs. It would be absurdly easy to defeat a team of hobbits. Even a hobbit that can jump very very high could not possibly hope to catch a pass six or seven feet in the air. So, quite simply, all a taller team would have to do is send their receivers straight to the end zone and lob the ball up in the air for them to catch. The hobbits would have no way of keeping the receiver from catching the ball, except for tripping them or shoving them before the ball arrives, which is illegal.

Any halfway decent athlete who has played football with children or young teenagers knows how much of a mismatch it is. If someone like Numenor were to play a hobbit team in American football, I seriously imagine that the score would be something in the neighborhood of 200 to 0.