[Oddwen]

Scene: Dunharrow, & the mustering of the troops.

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(Theoden and his entourage ride up the winding way to Dunharrow, trampling down any in their way)

Random Rohirrim: *blowing a kazoo* Make way for the King! The King! The King is - *RR is trampled*

Random Rohirrim 2: Hail, sire, hail!

Theoden: Yes I am, hale and hearty. Grimbold, how many men were you able to recruit?

Grimbold: There are five hundred men from the Westfold, sir.

Random Rohirrim 3: And I bring three hundred from Fenmarch!

Theoden: That makes...um...seven hundred and fifty riders. Where are the riders from Snowbourne? Where is the kazoo that was blowing?

RR3: They have passed like a wind on the mountain, sire. However, from each village I came to, for each man there were three fierce women armed to the teeth and ready to fight.

Theoden: You turned them away, of course?

RR3: Yes, of course sire! Imagine, a woman in battle! *they both laugh*

(Theoden and Aragorn continue upwards to the tents of the Truly Important People. They stand and survey the troops gathered below, near the For Important But Only In A Small and Insignificant Way People Camp)

Theoden: Six spears. Only a third of what I'd hoped for.

Aragorn: Er...that won't be enough.

Theoden: More will come.

Aragorn: Every hour that passes hastens Sauron's advancement. We have to ride at dawn.

(Suddenly, a horse snorts in terror and rears up. A Random Rohirrim [no. 843] is thrown upwards and over the mountain with a fading shriek)

Legolas: The horses are restless and the men are quiet. The sun is going down behind the mountains. We are very high up. The air has oxygen in it. I am annoying people. Gimli has a beard. Aragorn smells.

Eomer: They are restless in the shadow of the mountain.

Gimli: That road there, that creepy one, where does that lead, and why are we so near to it?

Legolas: It is the road to Dimholt, the door under the mountain. That means that there's a door under the mountain, and that road leads to it.

Eomer: None who venture there ever return. The mountain, road, and door are EEEEEVIL.

Howard's Score: *DUN DUN DUN!!!*

Gimli: How many people have ventured the road?

Legolas: And the door under the mountain that is at the end of the road leading to the door in the mountain that is at the end of the road?

Eomer: One.

Gimli: Oh. You're right, it's obviously a danger to whomever attempts the road...and the door at the end.

(Aragorn peers at the road. He stares so hard that his eyes begin to water. Something green and venomously vaporous appears from behind a rock and shakes its fist at the smelly Ranger. It opens its mouth and would say something except - )

Gimli*punching Aragorn in the kidney*: Hey!

*Aragorn says 'Oophfff!' and doubles over onto the ground*

Gimli: Two for flinching! *kicks Aragorn in the head twice* Let's go find some food.

(Aragorn lifts his head, and with watering eyes he surveyed the Evil Road Leading To the Door Under the Mountain At the End Of the Road Leading To the Door Under the Mountain, but the green apparition is nowhere to be seen. Painfully, he crawls after Gimli and Legolas)

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Annd, the next scene is Eowyn readying Merry for battle.